I feel betta. Thanks to everyone for bein cool. Luv y’all.
- woke up, had a banana and 1.5 tbsp PB and coffee
- worked out: 35 m inclined walking, butt/strength exercises
- got pretty :-)
- ate a plate of raw veggies with a lil ranch, 4 saltine crackers, and a little bit of ham
- made myself a half green tea/half 5 calorie lemonade arnold palmer.. it’s legit
- going 2 class now, will have an apple in between
- gonna study 4-8ish, eat somewhere in the mix, shower, relax
- maybe sleep early, maybe hang with da boy if he decides to txt me, but deep breaths
Got a few assignments done. My boyfriend is being kind of distant which is upsetting. He doesn’t live far from me, 35 minute drive. But he currently lives in my building. Just tryna make the most of having him a 2 second walk away, and I know he’s busy, but I feel like he’s bein’ weird and it’s upsetting me. I just wanna be around him and idk. Probably overthinking it. Trying not to sound clingy but meh.
Gonna go to sleep, wake up early, hit the gym, make myself look really pretty, and get some stuff done tomorrow. All I can do. Things will fall into place, he’ll come around eventually.
In the meantime, I worry myself sick about finals and him and my health and food.
It’ll be okay, Jennifer. Deep breaths. It’ll be okay.
don’t wanna eat or do anything or finish my homework or workout or go to class or socialize or be alone or feel things idk I am sad idek why i just don’t like myself i wish I was smaller and prettier and had more social skills and wasn’t so offputting and could get my work done and didn’t overthink things or need reassurance idk i wanna cry but can’t i wish I had sleeping pills other than nyquil cause I just wanna go to bed
sad night round 2
Take a shower,
Wash away the bad thoughts,
Cleanse your body,
Put on some relaxing music,
Get in to bed,
I’m 1.8 pounds from my lowest weight ever (I’m 144.8 today) and I feel fucking huge and gross and ugly and unwanted and grimey and MEH. Sigh.